Women have those “dream weddings” which they want to experience with the men of their dreams. It’s enchanting how one day, your dream wedding happens in real life! How fascinating that it unfolds right in front of your eyes with you and your lover are the happily-ever-after story’s protagonists.
But what if one day, it becomes like a nightmare you wished has never happened? The bed sheets grew thin. The curtains got dusty. The lights turned dim. Hurting is not just within you but on you.
Unfortunately, some sweet and bright relationships turn cold and dark until the love the couple once had binding them no longer looks like love. It’s saddening. When that man who once loved that woman and gave his all to have her makes her experience physical abuse one day in his own hands, it’s maddening — very much.
If you are a battered wife, a woman experiencing domestic violence from the hands of your own husband, don’t simply stand there being hurt. You need to help yourself, too, as much as you can! Here are some things that you must do if you are a female victim in a physically abusive relationship.
1. Be Alert For Your Safety
If you are a wife who’s been battered for long now, you are surely no stranger to the triggering factors to your husband’s harmful actions towards you. Be alert for them.
While you are in that destructive relationship, take note that your safety must be your priority. Even more, if you have children, their safety together with yours, is something you must constantly watch over. Don’t just let your out-of-control husband beat you up as he wills. Woman, you have to protect yourself!
Have an awareness of the signs and predictable times when your abusive husband is getting agitated which will lead him to rage and hurt you. Stay away from him when you see those possibilities. A much better idea, if you can, let him avoid those provoking instances. It would help to hide all tools or objects that he might use to maltreat you.
Set a place or a room in your house where you can stay inside when you feel like your husband’s about to hurt you or when you are already in a heated argument. If you find the urgent need to, you should be prepared with strategies to escape from the house safely and swiftly.
2. Seek Medical Attention
The brutal actions made by the abusive husband towards his wife result in manifestations which can be seen immediately upon the pain infliction or eventually after repeated ill treatment.
There is a wide range of injury types and levels among battered women. Frequently, they consist of lesions, black eyes, dislocations, hematomas, fractures, singes, boils and abrasions. Some injuries are not [instantly] visible to the naked eye but felt by the victim. They include chest pain, hyperventilation, faintness, suffocation, abdominal pain and more!
If you are a battered wife experiencing these and other panicking and unusual symptoms, seek medical attention as soon as possible. Before your physical health gets worse and before that man gets a chance to lay his heavy hand again on you, obtain medical care promptly.
Some women acquire long-term diseases after trying to endure their husbands’ hurting towards them. It’s unnerving. Seek treatment for inconveniences and discomforts you feel due to injuries caused by your partner.
3. Talk With People You Trust
The physical abuses that battered wives go through affect the mental health weightily. It makes one’s head hurt severely, this time, not literally.
Most battered women are not open about talking regarding their situation with other people because they are hindered, afraid or humiliated. But do know that it will help a lot to have somebody you trust to speak with.
You can let them know about your distressing situation. This will allow you to release some overloaded burdens you’ve been suffering for long. You need to recharge even if it’s by a short talk. That someone could be a concerned family member or your closest friend or your trustworthy neighbor. They can encourage you in times you’re down and give you pieces of advice regarding your relationship.
What’s more, having somebody who’s aware that you are a victim of an abusive relationship gives you a witness in case a more serious happening is brought to Court. Also, that trusted person will be able to testify for you if ever you are being wrongfully blamed by your abuser. Some really awful abusers turn the story upside down to favor themselves and put the real victims to a bad press. You need someone you can rely on just in case things like these happen.
4. Contact Institutions Ready To Help You
Earlier, it has been mentioned that there is someone or are some people whom you can get in touch with about your situation. They can ease you have a manageable life while in that relationship, or they can support you in your plans of leaving it.
Here’s another thing. Aside from the people you personally know and who personally know you, there are more people willing to help you anytime! There are institutions which can provide you assistance, and you can contact them without your husband’s knowledge.
It would definitely help to keep a list of emergency contacts. Who got your back? Police stations and domestic violence programs near your place would be ideal for urgent needs.
You may get legal help that will provide you one or more lawyers (as deemed necessary) to bring the case to the Court, so you can fight for your human right! Other services that are ready to accommodate you are counseling firms, financial assistance companies, support groups and legal advocacy programs.
They are open 24/7 to aid battered women to deal with their situations and to safely get out of their abusive relationships. After these, women will be lent a hand to protect them from future associations from their abusers after separation and legal actions have been taken against them.
If you’re doing nothing wrong, remind yourself that it’s not your fault that your husband’s battering you. You might have regrets and frustrations, but do not slam yourself for them. Know that you and the other women out there are worthy of being respected. You deserve a pleasant life, and you can get out of that devastating relationship you are in. You have hope, and there are people rooting for you and willing to help you!
How lovely it is when the husband decides to treat his wife forever the same as how he treated her nicely the first time he courted her, right? Some love stories are magical like that, as in fairy tales, but some are not. Some change like nobody ever imagined. Though some seasons in married life somehow change the relationship of the couple, still, hurting the other should never be there.
For those entering married life soon, keep in mind that when you become partners-in-crime, best friends for life and each other’s better half, you become ONE. What hurts the other, hurts you and the other way around. Love with that thought, so you will never even think of wounding each other. That’s how it should be.